


Three of Em?!

by choasblast03



Series: The Code Crack Anthology [1]
Category: Code Realize, Code:Realize ～創世の姫君～ | Code: Realize - Guardian of Rebirth (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Multi, Over the Top, Ridiculous, Spoilers, Strong Language, Swearing, Third Wheel, Time Skips, absolutely a pointless fic, but enjoy if you want, crackfic, lupin being perfection, maybe I'll fix em, maybe i wont, names doubled for easier searching, totally lazy, typos everywhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 19:43:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14196351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choasblast03/pseuds/choasblast03
Summary: WARNINGSSPOILERS!!!STRONG LANGUAGE!!TYPOS!!TERRIBLE SELF INDULGENCE!!!join Arwen, Kyoko, and Scarlett on a crazy adventure with the Code Realize cast.My contribution to the Code Crack Anthology, which may be posted later who knows...Enjoy some crappy writing with even crappier commentary as you watch this trainwreck unfold in 2 episodes that have been complied to 1 chapter on this site for your convienience.





	Three of Em?!

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome.   
> Good luck
> 
> Enjoy
> 
>  
> 
> If one can enjoy a piece of writing that is this awful XD

Full title: Three of em?! Holy shit gents!

The beginning of this first crackfic ever made by the glorious wonderful writer that is I, Choasblast03, takes place in an old mansion.   
The kind one would expect to be quiet, but hey, crackfic. Expectations are out the fucking window, YOU'RE IN MY CASTLE NOW BITCH!!

Okay dialing back a few notches  
"Guys shhh! I hear someone coming,"  
A loud soldier barges in, Leonhardt, but we don't know that yet.

"Why is he dressed like a bee?"  
"Shh kyoko"  
"Both of you hush."  
Scarlett deadpans.

The man looks disgruntled before he found us.   
"There's three? I was led to believe the monster was... never mind"  
"What do we do sir?"  
A nervous newbie asks.  
"Take all three I suppose, better safe than sorry."

"Take us! I think not!"  
Kyoko stands, but I slap a hand over her mouth, holding my glove in my other hand as my fingers sizzle into her face.  
"We'd be glad to accompany you"  
I mouth a trust me over my shoulder, ignoring the surprised gawks at the melting still occurring to both me and Kyoko.  
"Arwen."  
Scarlett jogs me to reason, drawing my hand back as Kyoko regenerated. And the burn marks heal on my own hand.   
All three of us were the vessels of an infinite power source. This had it's consequences, we weren't touchable by anyone but ourselves unless we used our gloves. My skin has a poison that melts all it touches. Kyoko's skin sears everything it comes in touch with, and Scarlett freezes anything in contact with her skin.   
Multiple attempts were made to create a functioning vessel, but Isaac done fuqed up, three of us made it with different effects.

Me, Kyoko, and Scarlett can touch each other and instantly regenerate from the damage, but it seems we can still be injured by other things such as I can still get burned on a hot stove and have the burn linger whereas Kyoko's third degree burns on my flesh disappear almost immediately.

Anyway. While I was explaining context to you shits, the three of us were brought out of the mansion and taken to a carriage without a horse. A car I think it was. Kyoko is still resisting. Scarlett seems doubtful but gives me the grace to trust my judgement. 

Not but a few feet into our journey down the road and I hear a triumphant fanfare of trumpets. And a... saxophone? I peer out the window. Up on a tall ruin stood a figure. And I cant help it. I have to swallow with my now dry throat when I look at him. He introduces himself to the soldiers as Arsène Lupin.   
"Lupin"  
I whisper.  
Scarlett smirks.  
"Someone's crushing~ ow fuck!"  
I smack Sarah with an ungloved hand, leaving a hand shaped dent in her arm.  
Kyoko snickering as the wound healed instantly.  
I almost faint when his eyes catch me. I don't really register his words, but I nod gently to acknowledge I heard him. A moment later we were surrounded by thick smoke. Confused cries heard from outside.  
"Arwen what did you do?"  
Scarlett looks out the other side window cautiously.  
I just shrug. Gaze drawn as I see the figure appear in the smoke. I open the door, exiting the car.  
"Are you ready to go miss?"  
He reaches toward me and I panic.  
"You're poisonous correct?"  
He confirms. I nod dumbfounded, quickly lifting my hand from the now melting door as I had forgotten to put my glove back on. Doing that now before Lupin grasped the newly gloved hand.  
"Your clothes are safe to touch, and your hair is too yes?"  
I don't even think to ask how he knows this much, just nodding like a drone and confirming his knowledge until he startles me to let out a squeak as he lifts me into his arms. He then looked into the window and saw Kyoko and Scarlett.  
"Three?"  
He asks.  
"Oh, yeah..."  
I chuckle nervously,  
"Arwen, don't drool on the nice man's coat."  
Scarlett teased. Exiting with a demure bow.  
"I'm not drooling!"  
I shout back. Kyoko decided to join before   
The joke went cold,  
"Say that to the wet spot"  
"There isn't a-"  
"Made you look"  
"Jerk."  
I blush heavily and was met with Lupin chuckling, his chest shaking me in his arms. Distracting the guards with a perfect impersonation of Leonhardt, he leads my sisters away from the royal guard while he kept me in his grasp. This wasn't in his plan, but a master thief is always prepared. 

We gain distance and Lupin sets me down, I still avoid looking at him, Scarlett's comment still had me incredibly embarrassed. He seemed to have forgotten all about it. With a swish of his cape he turns to me, explaining his purpose.

'Stealing my heart', a romanticized way to say, taking you for the stone in your chest. But I took the sentimental value of the words more than I probably should.  
"But I won't take it for free. I'll grant you a wish in return"

"Anything?"  
I inquire.

"Of course"  
Lupin smirks devilishly, my heart palpitating.  
"There's nothing I can't steal!"

"I think I know what she'll wish for"  
Kyoko whispers to Scarlett.  
"Really."  
Scarlett's gaze flicks to me than back to Kyoko.

I bite my lip nervously, thinking. I look at Lupin, eyes trailing over his form. Then my gaze trails to the stars. A streak of white crossing the space between the treetops. Double wish then.  
"I want to touch you."

"See a world domina- wait whatthefuck?"  
Kyoko looks at me with wide eyes.

Lupin's brows knit as I continue. They'll probably make a sweater before I finish. (Get it! Knit! Sweater! HAH! COMEDY! Come to think of it, why do people only say brows knit, I'm sure at least some crochet)  
"I want to feel your warmth."

"A touch.."   
Lupin's face softens

"Impossible isn't it"  
I sigh.

"Of course not. I said anything didn't I."  
His voice breaks into laughter. I visibly shiver. He's just plain godly. Shit!

By the time I've come out of my daydreams, I'm in a foreign car traveling down the road, and I'm EEEE. I think I'm on Lupin's shoulder. He smells nice. I'll just stay super still so I can stay here. 

I hear Scarlett and Kyoko conversing with a new voice I didn't recognize. But it seemed this new person got along well with Kyoko.  
"So how much further? Should we wake up the sleeping beauties yet"  
Scarlett's voice teased. Lupin's asleep?!   
"Nah, let 'em nap a bit longer, we've got a ways."  
That's the new voice. Who is that? Obviously we weren't kidnapped, Lupin wouldn't be sleeping if that were the case. 

Also what was that tune? It's oddly catchy, like if I had to choose to listen to a piece of music my whole life this song would be up in the list of choices. it never seems to end but that doesn't matter because this song is the ultimate jam.

Scarlett turned around and caught that my eyes were open.  
"Oh hello Arwen. Enjoying your cuddle time?"  
I give Scarlett a scowl but use my hand to nod as to not disturb Lupin's rest. After such a dazzling display yesterday evening, he was probably tired.  
Scarlett giggles.   
"Well since you're up, this is Impey."  
She gestures to the figure in the driver's seat. I can't see anything but red hair from my spot on Lupin, and there is no way in fuck I am budging a micromilimeter. So I just acknowledge and let her continue.  
"He's Lupin's mechanic, you were sleeping when he first arrived, surprise surprise."  
Kyoko decides to chime in.  
"So Lupin put you in the back with him so you could rest. How sweet."  
Impey speaks up abruptly.  
"I thought Lupin had ditched the mission when I saw you three, but apparently you guys are what we were after. Kinda funny actually."  
He trails off to himself.  
:three of us, three of them. Hmm:

Time skip to us reaching the mansion, because fuck that checkpoint scene and getting lost, seriously, what dumbass bitch follows a stranger into a dark alleyway? Guess that means I'll have to cram Victor in somewhere.... oh well. I'll figure it out.

"This is where we've set up our base of operations"  
Lupin explains as we step inside.   
Kyoko is delighted to be in a mansion.  
"This place is gorgeous! Could use some glitter though"  
"What?"  
Lupin quirks a brow before I lean close to Kyoko and whisper.  
"Glitter doesn't exist yet, this is 1850's"  
Kyoko huffs in disappointment but shakes her head with a   
"never mind"  
It was then that the room noticeably chilled with the atmosphere of an aristocrat. Oh no.... it's probably Scarlett's love interest.  
A man came down the stairs with such soft footsteps I'm surprised he even touched the floor. And his back is straight enough that if you flipped him on his stomach he'd be a perfect table. His hair is white and his eyes are closed. You're walking down the stairs! I don't care how long you've lived here or how heightened your senses are, look where the hell you're going!!! Anyway, he's here in the time I took to rant.  
"I see you were successful?"  
A napkin passes my vision at high speed as I see Kyoko jump.  
"Holy shit it speaks!!"  
She gasps, my vision trails to Sarah, who, seeing how old and stoney this male is, is probably already mentally keeping him dressed and having a ladylike stroll through the city with him like the composed woman she is whom I love and adore and protect with all my being. ACK LUPIN WAS SPEAKING AND I MISSED SOME OF IT!!  
"...There ended up being three of them."  
Impey chuckles.  
"Yeah, kinda amusing isn't it?"  
Lupin, Stone man who I'm sure introduced himself but I was too busy sleeping to hear it, Kyoko, and Scarlett all looked at him with confusion.  
"Does no one get the joke here???"  
Impey desperately glanced about.  
"I get it!"  
I call, making him perk up a little.

Suddenly, LE GASP, the right wall exploded. Everyone jumping to avoid debris as I was pushed over and protected from the blast. It's Lupin. BrainbegoodBrainbegood DontgoleftDontgoleftDontgoleft!  
I hear Scarlett's voice in the back of my head.  
"Go left"  
But I inwardly fight the urge down and just enjoy his closeness.  
"You alright?"  
He asks. I dazedly nod.  
"Mmhmm. I think so."  
"Good"  
Lupin then stands and strides over to punch Impey.  
"WHAT DID YOU DO!?"  
"IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR!!"

Another man comes darting through the hole in the wall and freezes when he sees us.  
"I need help! I'm being chased."  
He pleaded. Oh look it's cinnamon roll goodie-two-shoes Victor.  
Lupin's face curves thoughtfully.  
"By who."  
It was Scarlett who replied.  
"Probably the Royal Guard"  
Everyone turns me and Kyoko yell in unison.  
"NANI?"  
Scarlett explains herself.  
"He's Victor Frankenstein from the wanted posted we saw on the way into the city."  
Lupin nods.  
"You caught those too?"  
My demure senpai nods and Mr. Stoney speaks up.  
"Well done~"  
He compliments, barely moving his lips like a posh ass.  
"Forgive me"  
I pipe up. Getting Mr. Stoney's attention.  
"What's your name again? I'm sorry I'm awful with names.."  
"Ah~ no problem at all, I am

 

Zzzz

Zzz

Zzzzzz

...-! U-huh? Oh right, I'm writing this shit. What was I doing? Ah I don't remember. Welp the wall is fixed, Fran is in our party now impey making a comment on how   
"Well now the dynamic is fucked"  
Like an out of character crack-fic version of himself.   
And now we're all at a casino....  
For some reason.

Ehhhhhhhhhh--- except Mr. Ston-AH SHIT THAT'S WHAT I WAS WRITING!!!! Welp can't go back now that'd make no sense. Oh yeah gotta close that quotation, just have Mr. Stoney's actor read this whole thing I guess. " there it is, closed quotation. I'm back now.  
Didja miss me?

Anyway. Scarlett accompanied Fran, eating some cotton candy and discussing the situation like calm normal people.   
Kyoko went with Impey and tried to hack the slot machines, now they're being chased around the casino by angry guards.  
Me and Lupin are playing blackjack, currently on the wane of profit. But Lupin gives me a wink and goes all in. If we lose we are screwed. Luckily though, the dealer loses by going over trying to beat our pair of eights. 

By the way, that was written out purely because I have no idea how to write the plural of 8 in numeric form in a grammatically correct manner, not that that I pay attention to grammar to avoid long run-on sentences that ramble and makes no sense but WHATEVER.   
Hold on, let me adjust so my thumbs can handle typing some more of the bullshit and the story will resume. Much better.

Lupin and I win big time and are asked to not come back to the casino. While my thief gloats, I go cash in the chips and get the money, stashing it in my inner pockets of my coat that zip closed, no way to lose it. Annnd let me cheeeeeeck~~~ no holes! Great. Money secure. Totally wont forget it exists and send the gents on a wild goose chase to collect a bounty because they think we're broke in the near future AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH- anyway. That concludes part one of this shit-post of a book.

This episode was brought to you by Kyoko's hot legs. And now a word from our sponsor Kyoko.

"Leg so hot,   
hot hot leg,   
leg so hot you fry an egg"

Thank you. 

Chapter 1 end

Chapter 2

So we start this episode with all of us gathering at the entrance to leave the casino and return to Mr. Stoney.  
Wait? When did this become a chapter fic? Do I need to put chapter 1 at the top of the first one now? No... then this joke will make no sense for those who read the finished piece for the first time. I'll leave it. Totally not an excuse for me just being lazy and not feeling like erasing this chuck of shitty writing to make a proper segue way to this chapter being put literally right in the center of a major plot point.

I'm on the ground again... under Lupin. Did he just jump me? No wait. There's gunshots... and screaming.  
ACK FLASHBACKS FROM HIGHSCHOOL DRILLS!  
but I'm under Lupin so, that's good..  
What do I do down here? If there's anything I can do. Lupin's being super calm so he doesn't need my help, I can't do anything anyway so... dum dee dum dum dum.... hm hmhm hm hmm hm hmm. hm hmhm hmm hm hm hmm rubber ducky~. 

Oh? Lupin's getting up. I'll get up behind him I guess and hide like a demure female interest of a male protagonist usually does.  
Anyone notice this gets more shitty as I go. I'm learning how to crackfic! Yay!  
Should probably pay attention. The man with a gun pointed at us is speaking.  
"...the monster"  
Oh boy, isn't he in for a surprise.  
Lupin glances over his shoulder at me, before observing the situation. He then aims his staff at his opponent with an exclamation of  
"Bang!"  
And the area being clouded in thick smoke.  
I have a feeling I'm going to love that utterance until the end of time.  
My hand is grabbed and Lupin starts to lead me away until he's pulled into the fog, my anger flares as I hear him cry out in pain. Fran gives me a signal and throws a vial down, the smoke clearing as the flash-bang detonates and stuns everyone but me since I blocked myself after getting the signal. I use the second of confusion to throw a kick at the male attacking Lupin. Landing a hard blow the man's side and knocking him off balance in slight surprise at the power of my legs. I ride horses, what can I say? I help Lupin from the ground and wipe his coat of dust and the remnants of his shattered pride before I pull him with me give the gunman one more kick to keep him stunned,  
"I'VE GOT HIM! RUN!"  
I call. Kyoko and Impey rush to us to make sure no more ambushes delayed our escape while Scarlett and Fran picked out a route for us while Lupin collected himself. Eventually regaining thought and taking the lead to bring us into the forest.

The man didn't seem to be giving chase....  
Surprise motherfucker,  
He appears from behind a nearby tree and takes a shot, purposefully hitting the tree by Fran, not a miss, at least, that's what he'll tell you if you ask.  
Lupin's gaze flicks and Impey speaks up.  
"I'll stall him, you get away from here."  
Kyoko looked conflicted, but ultimately followed. I spare a glance over my shoulder and see Impey taking a leap into the air to dive towards the attacker until, he just fell limp to the ground after a gunshot rang through the trees. My legs twitch, but I know Lupin heard it too, and that's his friend. If he isn't turning around he must know something I don't.  
Fran however turns around to run back before I pull over while holding Lupin's hand to use our arms and clothesline the dweebo. The group pausing.  
Fran points.  
"We have to go back."  
Lupin looks around seeing the man still standing by Impey's limp form, seemingly monologging. How nice of him to give us time to stand and talk instead of run like the dumbasses we are.   
Op-!, Lupin speaks.  
"I know this makes no sense right now, but you need to trust me and keep moving. He's after them."  
He gestures to us three, Fran searches Lupin's face a moment before hesitantly nodding. Scarlett looks like she's about to protest, but I give her a look to trust Lupin. And Kyoko.... .... ... Wait-... Where is Kyoko?

A loud yell is my answer, turning I see Kyoko running at the man with her gloves off. Oh shit.  
"Take this asshole!"  
She declares, hands meeting the gun that he raised up to block her strike. The metal melts and warps under her hands as the male's face contorts in shock, but his eyes narrow, Kyoko doesn't see it... He swings his other gun to her head and she falls to the ground, thankfully it rained the day before, but you can see smoke rise from where her skin was killing the grass beneath her still bare hands. The dirt becoming scorched with each passing moment. Lupin urges the rest of us to keep moving, weaving through the abundance of green until the gunman was out of sight. The thief's gaze flicked to me and Scarlett.  
"Hide quickly"  
He orders. I don't hesitate and dive into a nearby bush, becoming still as a stone. Scarlett snickers and joins me in the bush.  
"You want a treat for being such a good girl?"  
She teased, only receiving a whine in return.  
Scarlett's words trigger a daydream though and the next thing I remember is the gunman has caught up, as have Kyoko and Impey. They seem alright.   
They're all talking at the moment.

Pov flip!!!!  
Welcome to Vanocolate Helsing simulator.

These guys are rambling like idiots....  
WHY DOES NOONE LOVE ME!  
Can I just shoot them all?....  
I DON'T DESERVE HAPPINESS!

Ahh there's another one falling out of a bush unconscious... WAIT WHAT?!  
I SHOW NO EMOTIONS!!!

Pov back to me because the joke is getting old.

Next thing I know I'm in a bed. Kyoko on my left side and Scarlett on my right. So great now I have to wait for these fuckers to wake up before I can move.

In other news, Van has joined our party and can now be examined from the status section in the menu.. the fuq?

Time skip to the retreat after rescuing Queen Victoria and Leonhardt from the attack on the palace. Which is really far from this current point. But fuq it.  
And also things happen very differently with there being three of us so things wont match up to memory.

What you missed.  
-Finis is our brother that looks like a chick, but was just a surprised as everyone else that there's three of us functioning.  
-I still don't know the name of Mr.Stoney   
-Herlocke is an asshole and causes me to make dog growls I didn't know I was capable of  
-Mr. Stoney and Scarlett totally had an angsty rut in the bathroom because he's immortal and doesn't give two shits that she freezes his skin because he just heals.  
-Kyoko and Impey have become partners in crime, increasing risk rates of missions by 500% but also increasing gadget production as that's how they bond. But they also bond over having said gadgets explode.... yeah.... adorable.  
-Van tried to assassinate us all by cooking breakfast. It was Impey who saved the day  
-Me and Lupin are obviously attracted to one another but haven't confessed anything.

See you didn't miss anything too major.  
On we go.

The night was comfortably silent. The airship groaning softly as it kept altitude over Steam London, Which was oddly peaceful despite being mostly destroyed and on fire.  
Kyoko and Impey were maintaining the engine down below deck, Scarlett and Mr. Stoney were keeping look out, Victoria and Leonhardt were asleep, and Lupin steered the ship while I rested on his shoulder tiredly.   
"L-lupin?"  
I spoke timidly,  
Scarlett heard me faintly and moved her line of sight to the front of the ship, adjusting her binoculars for better viewing.  
"This is gonna be good"  
She muttered,  
Lupin turned to me with gentle smile that made my chest tighten. My words catching in my throat as if my poison was now melting my thoughts. I dip my head down so my hat shades my flushed cheeks from view.   
"You alright?"  
I hear him ask. Mentally melting.  
"I don't know."  
I reply shakily.  
"Being around you makes me feel safe, but it also makes me feel....... ugh I don't have the word right now."  
I pout and silently berate myself for my ineloquent confession.

After a low chuckle makes my body go limp, I see the blur of Lupin's gloved hand pulling my hat further over my face and feel a light pressure on my head through the fabric.

I cherish the moment until a loud screech makes us both jump. A familiar midget's voice coming over the speaker.  
"Lupin has kissed Arwen! I repeat Lupin has kissed Arwen!"  
Kyoko replies over the comms.  
"Hazah!!"  
Meanwhile I'm burying my face in lupins cape, my hat in between as to not burn the perfection of his clothes. 

The rest of the trip isn't very remarkable. We part ways with the queen and her lover-I MEAN BODY GUARD!!! TOTALLY!!! WINK! COUGH COUGH!!!   
The lab stands before us again. Last time we were here, we saw all the failed attempts of us, and Mr. Stoney stabbed one of the Finis' clones. 

This time we fucked up.  
And that's how Kyoko, Scarlett, and I ended up on the Nautilus. Kicking and screaming and fighting for our lives. While Lupin was nearly chewing his nails to the bed in impatience, Impey building project after project to try and make a plan if attack, and Stoney was stoney as usual. Victor and Van were moral support third wheels. 

"Let me go before I fuck your face with a stick!"  
Kyoko roared.  
Scarlett remained calm.  
I hung my head. My last exchange with Lupin as he tried to prevent my capture flashing in my mind. Words echoing over and over. 

My attention is drawn with a cry of pain. Kyoko had bitten Finis' hand.  
"Take that you Bootleg Leia Motherfucker"  
She growled. The doll faced boy looking at her in disgust as he tended his hand.  
"You all are stupid if you think you can actually care for them. We're monsters, we're alone."  
Finis monologues.

"You're alone, we have each other"  
Scarlett corrects.  
"Hm. You do... for now."  
Finis hisses coldly.   
"But when the power of the philosopher's stone becomes activated and we take what we need. There will be no further use for you."

.....

"Arwen it's your turn to speak to Finis all defiant-like"  
Kyoko exclaims. I stay quiet.  
"Arwen?"

"He'll come for me."  
I murmur.

"What?"  
Finis' head tilts.

"He will come for me. And when he does, you better pray he spares your life."  
I spoke louder,

"And why would he come for you? You're a monster who can not be loved."

"You're wrong! [cheesy heroic speech about how we're all loved]"

By the time I finished speaking the stone in my chest made a twinge, I know my sisters felt similarly, as they twisted in discomfort. 

Finis caught it and his eyes widened, pupils shrinking as his lips pull in a sadistic grin.  
"Perfect you're almost complete. And so you won't get rescued only to send me on a wild goose chase and then have you transform and be rescued again after I recapture you.... IN THE GLOBE!"

I quirk a brow.  
"What?!"

Next thing I know we're back in the mansion.

"DAMMIT GET US OUT OF HERE!!!"  
Kyoko howls, kicking holes in the walls. Scarlett remains quiet, but frustration is written on her face.

We're stuck there for hours, our hair changing white after an hour or so. Must be the completion of our transformation.  
doesn't hurt in here though, but our hair now has the same effect as our skin. Why? Plot point I guess????? Don't ask me!

We all were slumped in the tiny room until voices jogged us out of it.

"Where are they?!"  
"Calm Lupin, I can sense our princesses close by. Hopefully unharmed"  
"They better be. Or I'll"  
"Lupin!"  
"What Impey?"  
"There, they're in there somewhere, but their energy readings are different from usual."  
Totally not written just for the fun of having all the 'there's in one sentence.

I jump up first.  
"Lupin?"  
Kyoko looks around next.  
"Impey? What's he doing here."  
Scarlett glances around before a dejected look crosses her features. This look dissipated however, after a certain poignant tone drifted to her.

"Here. Though I am unsure of how we'll free them, and their appearance has altered slightly."

Scarlett beams as she hears that voice, but the mansion is filled with yelps when she kicks me and Kyoko in the side, waking us from our restful nap we decided to take as soon as Mr. Stoney uttered a sound.

Lupin pov aka, the perspective of perfection.

My eyes scan the area for intel. They were right there, trapped under a glassy surface, too far to just be reached for alone. My lip tightens into a firm line, remembering what I heard. 

"That globe is draining the power from the stone each bears."

"Which is also their life force so can we save the princesses now! Tell me you have something Lupin! All my gadgets are used up, and I couldn't make any new ones without her!"  
The vampire barked, red braid flaring behind him as he moved with expression.  
I see him still slightly as *desired input not available due to lack of host data inserting known data* [Mr. Stoney] took a hand and grabbed Impey's shoulder. 

With a grateful nod, I go back to thinking aloud. Letting my ideas bounce off those listening as well as my own self as I figure the variables.

"The amount of poison is proportionate to the amount of energy produced..."  
I tap my chin gently.  
"You're forgetting the other two in your explanation Lupin"  
[Mr. Stoney] addressed.  
I waggle a finger at him, my word choice isn't the damn issue.  
"If we leave her in long enough that she just has the power to survive, her poison will run out."  
"No! The timing is way to risky!"  
Impey protests  
"It's our best option to fulfill my promise and save their lives."  
I bark back. I don't like the odds either, but the more they talk the harder it's getting to keep count in my head, so I close my eyes and drown them out. Both trying to get my attention fruitlessly for 6 minutes and 13 seconds before I look to [Mr. Stoney] and address him.  
"Go talk to Scarlett and get her to reach for you."  
:She'll take longest like the reserved edgy bitch she is. I mean-! Wonderful, beautiful perfect friend to Arwen she is, don't castrate me Arwen!!!!:  
'i'll think about it'  
A voice sounds in his mind  
:what:  
'Shh, don't want to seem crazy talking to no one do you?'  
I shake my head. No time. 1 minute 20 more seconds and I tell Impey to talk to Kyoko.  
I wait a whole other 40 seconds before going to talk to Arwen.

Pov back to me.

Little did my thief know that the globe sensed them and decided to split us up into solo mansions to try and traumatize us to stay.

Scarlett was attacked by her inner demons and refused to even hear the voice speaking to her for a minute, when it finally got through, she listened quietly as he droned on for another minute with some change. When he was done he asked her to come back, having her reaching out towards her aristocratic immortal lover.

Kyoko, while taunted, heard Impey immediately, his chipper tone not letting on the true extent of his worry as he explained how he couldn't invent without his beautiful muse. Likening her to the painting of the Venus De Milo that in actuality was a statue, fucking dunce. Only taking around a minute to get her to reach.

I was being plagued with my anxieties. At first telling the voice to go away, easily confirming when he asks if I'm sure that's what I want. I remain doll-like until the tone became cross with me a few seconds in.  
"You're lying moron!"  
That jolted me to myself. I- i can't believe I'd forgotten him.   
"Lupin!"  
I make a note to apologize profusely when I get out. Even if it only took me a few moments for the whole exchange.

My vision then clears to see Lupin, glancing to the side to see my sisters being pulled out at the same time I was. I assume Lupin timed it that way as I reach out and hug him, careful to avoid my hair or skin touching him. I want to squeeze him, but I can't unless I want to end up with a gentleman thief flavoured puddle. Which is the last thing I want. But I do wonder what that flavour would be? I'd figure out soon enough. I see my companions having similar interactions, but Scarlett is the most tame, holding hands with her partner as they held each other's gazes adoringly. Kyoko and Impey danced around the small space a little, which was really adorable seeing as neither really knew how to dance, so they held hands and jumped around and spun in circles. Laughing gleefully.

Cue Mr. Leia Angst McFuckboi who was currently possessed by Isaac, aka Dick.  
"You're very smart for a common cutpurse."  
Dick acknowledged.   
Lupin bows for the compliment.  
"You're welcome. And here's dessert."  
His gaze narrows.  
"Impey! Let's get out of here."  
The vampire acknowledges with a beaming grin, sweeping Kyoko off her feet before producing a remote from Gami-knows-where and pressing the big red button. 

Dick looked around in shock as explosions rock the globe and destroy his main body.  
"No!"  
He shouts, his influence of Leia Angst McFuckboi ebbing as the dudechick whined about not being loved now, when the explosions blasted a hole in the ship, McFuckboi fell towards it. No one moved to assist, fuck Leia McFuckboi, fuck him indeed. He'd probably refuse our help and end up surviving somehow anyway, even though he can't be cloned anymore now.   
Now he's mortal like the rest of us. Ass!

But hey between him and Herlocke, I'd much rather watch the purple haired shit be put through a meat grinder.

Anyway, Mr. Stoney picks up Scarlett and Lupin swiftly lifts me into his arms. And out the hole we go, taking a dive and soon being caught by the ornithopter, wait, who's flying this thing?

Van grumbles a   
"Look who it is"  
From his spot behind the controls as the six of us kerplunk into the cabin, which was expanded after the lack of space noted in the train heist.

Victor catches my expression as I forgot their names a moment. Hissing an out of character remark.  
"Oh don't mind us, just the fucking third wheels that made this plan function when those guys went batshit.."  
Geeze I know he and Kyoko kinda became friends, but her salt seems to have seasoned him too. Say pure Fran, stay pure.

As we head home, Lupin produces a few pieces of debris he grabbed on his way out. Which is as believable as Gilbert grabbing mushrooms as he ran from an oni but it's needed for plot convenience. Anyway back on fandom focus.

I hear my name in his angelic voice, giving him my full attention.

"Take off your gloves"

"What?"

"Trust me. You too Kyoko and Scarlett, if you don't mind,"

We all do so, still confused. And Lupin hands us each a piece of debris scrap metal.

I take my piece and it begins to slowly melt as I expected, but then it just.... stopped. Huh?!

I looked down and moved my clothes slightly, the stone in my chest was back to normal, I assume it has been since Lupin pulled me out of the prison. 

It seems Kyoko and Scarlett are getting similar results. 

Kyoko's piece half melted but it stopped and she also did a stone check like me. Slapping Impey as he tried to look down her dress, thankfully her effects were gone, as I'm sure she just acted on impulse.

Scarlett's fragment had a thick layer of ice across most of it's surface but it seemed her effect was also gone. Instead on looking down her clothes, she merely padded down her front gently, feeling for the general shape of the stone in her chest, which I guess me and Kyoko could've done. But no! What is this antebellum america? Well actually.... it's 1850's soooooooo... NO! STILL SCREW IT!

[[Note to self, never reference Apush in a fic again, it causes panic, heart attacks, and astral projection.]]

When the ornithopter landed and everyone exited the vehicle. I barreled into Lupin, burying my face in his jacket and taking in the softness of the fabric the sound of his heart thrumming in his chest. He makes a small sound of effort to stay upright but otherwise lets me do as I wished. Speaking of which.

"You gave me my wish. Thank you."

Lupin's brows curve devilishly.  
"I haven't completely fulfilled it yet, but you're welcome in advance"  
He ends it with a chuckle that had my knees buckling and me tumbling to the ground, faster than Lupin could register and help.

My sisters laughed at my actions before Lupin's voice made them stop dead.  
"You two never told me what you wanted. My offer is still standing."

"I'm fine, I've got what I need. Consider you making her happy is your debt paid."  
Scarlett nods kindly as she spoke with the elegance of an ambassador. I give her a smile, standing up and running over to hug her sweetly.

Lupin opened his mouth to ask Kyoko but was cut short.

"ROCKET SHOES!!"

She blurts before barrelling into the hug and burying her face with ours. We all smiled. This is the start of a great new life.

And probably an award winning sitcom series.

Lupin paced.   
"Where the fuq do I get rocket shoes?"

TADAH THE END!!!

**Author's Note:**

> You made it through congrats!!!!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and maybe got a giggle!!
> 
> Have a great rest of your day. 
> 
>  
> 
> And no.  
> ...  
> ...  
> ....  
> You'll never get that time back.


End file.
